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Rising Above Challenges

by Kimberly Dean of Delaware Valley Regional Planning Commission

The Early Years

Kimberly Dean, known by her Chinese name "Jem-ba-ling" (meaning golden butterfly), grew up in Virginia Beach, VA. Her father, Fred, of European descent, served many years in the US Navy. He met Kimberly's mother, Ya-Wei, of Chinese origin with a similarly difficult past, while stationed in Taiwan. Ya-Wei adopted the name Judy upon moving to the US, where she sought to build a new life, free from the abuse and heartache.

Living Under Dad’s Roof

Judy's marriage to Fred was marked by inequality. Fred demanded a cold beer served on a bamboo tray every day as he pulled into the driveway and upon entering the house. He performed a "glove test" to ensure the house was dirt free. Judy yearned to teach her children the Chinese language and culture but was prevented from doing so.

Eventually, Judy found solace working long hours at a Chinese restaurant. As she readied herself for work, with her daughter Kimberly sitting by her side; Judy spent what seemed like hours gazing through a window at an oak tree. After powering through her thoughts, she’d then apply scotch tape to her eyelids to create a crease resembling a European facial feature, along with other techniques of beautifying herself for the day of work ahead. 

Growing up, Kimberly and her sister were tasked with household duties, which hardly ever allowed the girls to play with the neighbors or other kids from their elementary school. Fred spent most of his time pacing the house and yard, inspecting every corner at least five times a day with a cold beer on hand. If Fred came into the house, the sisters would jump high in fear and clean with a dust cloth always in hand. The sisters were never encouraged to have a voice, thoughts, or to share opinions. Kimberly would cry every night and was instructed by her father to “go into the bathroom and wash your face off, and when you come out, I want to see you smiling.” He wanted to paint his own picture that everything was perfect after Judy returned from a long day of work. After 13 years, Judy found the strength to reclaim her life, and the loveless marriage to Fred ended in divorce.

A Path of Artistic Passion

Judy always supported Kimberly's love for graphics and art, and she encouraged her to pursue her aspirations. During her junior and senior years of high school, Kimberly was selected for the Advertising Design program at a vocational school. She was featured in the Virginian Pilot for her achievements and won first place in the state of Virginia for the Advertising Design Student Competition.

With her sights set on a college education in Philadelphia, PA, Kimberly felt a newfound sense of freedom and determination. It was at a XandO coffee shop in this unfamiliar city where she suddenly felt untethered to her dad and realized her future was her own blank canvas. For the first time, she felt renewed and determined never to take a single day of living for granted. This motivation led her to work diligently, earning the Fanny Arufo Scholarship and the Presidential Scholarship Awards, which eased the financial pressure on her hardworking mother.

Empowerment

Kimberly began her career at the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society (PHS) before joining the Delaware Regional Planning Commission (DVRPC), where she has been employed for over 23 years. While working on the Changing Lanes conference, WTS President Patti Gibson showed Kimberly the importance of having an ally. Now serving on the WTS Philadelphia Board for four years and counting, Kimberly loves the organization for its support and empowerment of all women (and their allies) within the transportation industry.

Reclaiming Confidence, Voice, and Building Meaningful Relationships

WTS Philadelphia has helped Kimberly discover her confidence and voice. She and her mother are working to foster an open and meaningful relationship. Together, they embrace the present and strive to make their moments count.

Kimberly Dean's story is a testament to resilience, determination, and the power of a supportive community. Her journey serves as an inspiration to all who face adversity, proving that it is possible to rise above challenges and soar.