On Tuesday, June 28th, the WTS-Boston Professional Development Committee was pleased to host “Let’s Talk About Confidence”, a virtual panel discussion with members of the WTS-Boston Advisory Board for a reflection on how confidence has played a part in their lives and careers, as well as tips on how to boost and use confidence in sincere, mindful ways.

 

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In advance of the Zoom event, participants were invited to read an article entitled “Confidence Without Arrogance”. https://medium.com/remote-symfony-team/a-secret-to-success-confidence-without-arrogance-17191d46c50d. The article explores ways to increase your own confidence, such as striving for sincerity, humility, and mindfulness, knowing your strengths and limitations, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and realizing that making mistakes is the path to growth.

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Before diving into the topic at hand, attendees collectively watched a recorded TED Talk by Brittany Packnett Cunningham on “How To Build Your Confidence -- and Spark It In Others”. https://www.ted.com/talks/brittany_packnett_cunningham_how_to_build_your_confidence_and_spark_it_in_others?language=en.

Cunningham discussed the positive influences and inspiration that she found in the book “I Dream a World: Portraits of Black Women Who Changed America” by Brian Lanke, and through learning as a child about Septima Clark, an early civil rights activist. Cunningham defined confidence as requiring three factors – permission to exist and defy expectations, community as a safe space to try new things, and curiosity to motivate forward momentum.

Ali Mattson, WTS-Boston Professional Development Committee Co-Chair, facilitated the discussion and introduced the members of the WTS-Boston Advisory Board. Lisa Schletzbaum is the Assistant State Traffic Engineer at MassDOT, who has been with the agency for 15 years. Allison Sweeney is a Project Coordinator for the MBTA, where she has worked for almost 20 years. Rebecca Williamson is a Vice President at Jacobs and is their New England Transportation Market Leader for the Northeast Region.

The panelists spoke about techniques they have used to grow their confidence as their careers advanced. The suggested approaches for building confidence included surrounding oneself with a strong support network to develop connections and community, to always implement the three P’s (Prepare, Practice, Persist), and to participate in leadership roles in organizations, such as WTS.

The panelists provided additional recommendations for instilling confidence in yourself, such as:

• Listen more than you speak, but when you do speak, do so with certainty and conviction.
• Always say yes to a challenge, raise your hand for everything even when you feel it is a stretch.
• Learn from your mistakes.
• Ask for help.
• Don’t feel pressure to be good at everything and try to recognize each success as you go along.

The session concluded with a Q&A period.  Attendees wanted to know how confidence had shaped the careers of the panelists, and how to increase confidence in oneself. The panelists offered strategies including:

• The practice of yoga or meditation to help with self-awareness and mindfulness, and to combat negative self-talk.
• Use of body language can convey confidence, such as standing tall without fidgeting with your head up and shoulders back, making direct eye contact, and using a firm handshake.
• Smile, which sets people at ease and will therefore make you feel more at ease.
• Strive for poise and restraint.
• Listen to your gut.
• Collaborate, do not dominate.
• Accept constructive criticism.

The panelists were asked how to gain your confidence back when it has been shaken or knocked down. They advised attendees to talk things through with a trusted friend. Do some activities that you know will allow you to build up some small successes to restore your confidence. Participate in events like leadership conferences or other inspirational talks or podcasts. Give yourself five minutes for your pity party, then reach out to your support network to build yourself back up.

The attendees asked how to mentor younger women to gain confidence in themselves. Panelists responded that you should help your proteges to see their value and strengths. Let them know they do not need to be perfect, and that they should continually expose themselves to new opportunities. Invite junior staff into the conversation, ask their opinions during meetings. Let them know they can come to you for advice and be a resource for them. Suggest that they participate in WTS and to take on leadership roles.

The group also discussed times when confidence can be perceived as aggressiveness when presented by women, and how to balance appearing confident without seeming arrogant.

The group concluded with the reflection that confidence can be more easily found if we stop trying to be what other people think we should be and, instead, focus on and celebrate our own strengths.